I am inevitable. I am the one thing you can run your entire life from, only to run into. I am worse than the air you breathe; with me, there is no breathing. I will take you into the sky and let you float away. You will float into a peaceful most silent place you never imagine existed. You don’t have to think when I take you; all you need to do is oblige. If you don’t oblige, I may put you in enormous pain until you decide to give in. I don’t do this because I don’t love you, I do it because you don’t love me even in the moments when you need me.
None of you humans want or love me and yet there are times when you actually need me. You need me to take the pain and suffering away yet you reject me. You need me in order to heal the brokenness of your soul and to let your loved ones heal the pain of seeing you suffer yet you reject me. There are times when you simply need me because the storyline has ended for you yet you reject me. I am not the bad one here. I am simply the step to the next chapter in the circle of life. I allow space for healing and reconciliation that you humans call mourning.
Why do you not understand that you need me? You say I cause you pain yet you hurt each other with words more than I can ever comprehend. You wish I was a phantom. You wish I never existed. Can’t you see that I am the solution? I heal those that are in pain. I rest those that are tired. I give a fresh start to those whose story on earth has ended. I bring families together for comfort. They come to share their tears and laughter together. They share memories they never talk about unless one of you is gone from them.
I am your saviour even though I did not die for you. I am the bridge between this life and the next. Without me, there is no afterlife. There are no memories to be kept because everyone continues living. There is no point to remember anyone. I am not asking you to love me, I am asking you to understand. You probably hate me most because of the traditions and customs you have created around my existence. Honestly, they don’t change a thing. My task remains the same. Whether you desire a coffin or an urn, my task is the same. Whether you make tea and sandwiches or pitch tents and slaughter cows, my task remains the same. I am a healer. I take the burden off your shoulders and spirits.
I do not mean to undermine the emotions you go through while mourning. Nor do I mean to undermine your customs and traditions. I can never fully articulate what you go through when I take someone you love but I know basics. Separation from the people you love hurts. Living in pain hurts. Living when the script of your life is empty hurts. For the ones I take, life becomes easier. For the ones I leave, life can go either way. It can become easier or harder. I do not mean for any of these to happen but I do mean to rest the soul that needs rest. You who remain sometimes have questions that no one can answer; it is all part of letting go of the physical body and learning to remember the person. Sometimes it takes years for you to live with them in memory because their absence is too much to bear. Some day, I don’t know when but a day comes when having memories makes you happy. A day when your world is reconciled. Your reality and your emotions and memories become aligned. I do not mean to throw you off your balance but sometimes it is what you need in order to find yourself again.
Understand this, it has never been my intention to hurt the living. It is an unfortunate side-effect of my task. Do not hate me, do not love me; at the very least, tolerate me. Remember that I love you, I save you and I am the bridge between this life and the next.