The irony of a teacher
I have spent my young adulthood and most of my adult life teaching younger ones to follow their hearts. I’ve spent hours working on lesson plans that will better help me convey this message and putting in activities that would imprint in their minds the importance of following their hearts. All this time I was afraid to follow my own heart.
I remember sitting with a group of teenagers discussing the power of being fearless. Talking about how one should cast their fears aside and pursue their dreams. They were so passionate, willing and ready to face anything that came their way. I was cheering on their bravery and good ideas but inside I was fearful of my own pursuit. I was scared of things I had not yet even come to know.
Now I stand at the edge of my life. I have followed my heart but I have not stopped fearing my journey. I doubt I ever will stop being scared. Timidly I have come thus far. Stronger I have grown, yet I fear what awaits me around the corner. I ask myself if I can handle it, of my strength is enough and if the journey thus far was all worth it. I have lost and I have gained. I’m no longer a little girl, I’m a woman who has followed her heart. A woman who realizes that reality is different from the vision and the path to attaining it. Yet my memories of the good qualities I attempted to instill in the young ones remind me of what I should be; fearless. Fearless, strong and genuine. It’s easy to teach, it’s hard to do.